Well, the day is tomorrow. The day you hate. The day you blame me for ruining your game. The day I ruin the greens. Aerification day! Actually it is Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. These are the three days I put Billions and Billions of holes in your perfectly conditioned greens. It doesn’t matter that you couldn’t putt on them all year long because of some minor blemish on the outer 4″ next to the collar. Today the greens are perfect, tomorrow I am going to screw them up and make your game a wreck.
YUP! That is what I am going to do. And that is what I will continue to do until either you or I am gone forever. But if it is me, the next guy will do the same thing twice each year. That is what gives you greens to putt on and something to complain about. If I didn’t screw up your greens twice each year they would eventually fail completely and you would go elsewhere to complain about their greens.
Here is the plan. You start to play from 8-10 am. ahead of the parade of maintenance guys chasing you down like a pack of wolves. At that point we start by double verti-cutting the greens to get the thatch out and help stimulate re-growth.
Then we will put holes into the greens to remove more thatch and create channels of air space for the roots to grow. We clean up that mess. Then change the cup that was beat up from all of the traffic. And you get to start at 2 pm to follow us the rest of the day.
Tuesday we will do the same thing for the other side. While you guys are out golfing from 8-10 on that side we will be out making a mess throwing tons of topdressing sand down and dragging it around to fill the holes we created Monday. That process is continued on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday until all holes are filled in.
Yes we will be working while you are trying to play golf. Yes we will be in the way. Yes we will be sitting close to the green with engines at idol until you finish your last putt so we can throw more sand. Yes you will feel uncomfortable. Yes you will be putting on sand. Sorry, that is just the way it is going to be.
Then next Monday you will come back. All of the holes will be gone. The greens will be sandy but smooth and by Wednesday you will not remember we were even here.
And so it goes. Twice each year we do the same thing to keep the greens playing well the rest of the year. So starting tomorrow morning get out before 10:00 am. and the rest of the week suck it up, take a two putt if necessary and they will be back to normal in a week. Then you can complain about the greens, you know, the small blemish 4″ from the collar.
So, I am glad you are here to complain about my greens. Thank You.
Mark Novotny CGCS