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Westchester Golf Course

10-26-18 Showering on a Cruise Ship

This is much to do about nothing.  Thought you may enjoy a distraction from your busy lives.  One of my several cruises (when I could cruise) someone asked me about the ship and the showers.  This was my response from my experience:

Traditional Dinner 7:45. Our group decides to meet at 7:08.  The Mrs. showers.  My turn,   OK, shower is a little smaller than most but acceptable, so I thought.  The shower head is not on a removable wand like all other ships I have been on.  The shower basin, just slightly larger than home plate and the same geometrical shape, is narrower than I am.  “Thank god this doesn’t have the glass doors like a previous ship.”  As I am wetting down to lather up I realize I have to manipulate the shower head to multiple positions to moisten my 5XL frame.  Until that day, I have never washed my front by having the water projected over my head. 

The soap is a two inch round hockey puck.  As I am proceeding to the lather, rinse, repeat method of hygiene, the hockey puck slips from my grasp and bounds to home plate.  I play Wayne Gretzky for a while to manipulate the puck to the drain end when using advanced geometry I realize…the distance from the top of my head to the bending of my waist exceeds the linear dimension of the home plate basin.  I am forced to step out of the shower to retrieve the slippery cleansing agent.  When upon retrieval of the slippery puck, it escapes my grasp once again to fly under the toilet, careen off the wall and rest under the affixed chrome plated shower brush so neatly placed in its receptacle.  Finally, back into home plate.  I notice the ship is rolling greater than the beginning of this ordeal and the brief moment the puck stopped on the drain a storm surge was created which accumulated enough water that the wave action was breaking over the less than generous home plate basin.  I am now in a Katrina flood wall situation where I am shoring up the levy walls with any towel available.


Our first cruise ship RCCL Nordic Empress

As you can imagine it was an adventure.

Haven’t posted much been busy with a destination wedding, aerification, filling holes, keeping an eye on housing construction sites on 16/17 & 11.  Forecast is like rain for the next three days over the weekend, and 8 of the next 10.  Stay dry, come play when you can, I should have time to post more coming up.

Mark Novotny CGCS


Photo from Empress of the Seas Live Blog


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