So the instructions were to read the 19 page letter with suggestions. Review the 117 page manuscript notes and let them sink in before I dig into a complete rewrite.
First, The one comment “This project has a lot of promise”. But, doesn’t every story have a lot of promise? With enough changes it will be great. but doesn’t that make it a different story completely? With that said, as soon as I submitted it, within hours we changed directions and went from movie screenplay to a book. With that said, the whole format needs to be reworked without stage directions. It has to go into prose.
Second, It is not dramatic enough. Not enough conflict, they were happy when they started and happy when they ended. Apparently for fiction that does not work. They need to start somewhere and end somewhere else. My concern is I may not be qualified to write in the conflict. I have no clue what happens to make couples break up. I’ve never experienced it, I don’t know what couples disagree about. For Janet and myself it’s “What are we having for dinner?”
Hardly an earth shattering conflict. Suggestion was that they may hate each other when they first meet. Ok, these people are mid 30’s. Unless I am forced to be with them for some reason, you know ‘locked in a space ship’ I don’t associate with someone that causes me conflict especially someone I hate. That just doesn’t work for me, I wouldn’t waste my time aggravating myself or another person for that matter. I would just move on…Once again a different story line.
So right now I am trying to create a change to go from hate-like-hate-love. The people I know in real life that went from Hate-like-love-married-kids-hate-divorced. I don’t care for that story very much. I am sure they don’t either.
Well, in any case I have enough work to just changing the stage directions to prose and add the senses to the actions of the characters.
Enough for now.
Mark Novotny CGCS
Mark Novotny CGCS 
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